Marital Mirth

I told my wife that the mailman said he had screwed every woman in our road except one!!

“I bet it’s the snooty bitch at number twenty three,” she replied.

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I recently became addicted to viagra…

My wife has been taking it really, really hard.

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DEAR NEIGHBOR:

Hi, George. This is Richard, next door. I’ve a confession to make.
I’ve been riddled with guilt for a few months and have been trying to
get up the courage to tell you face-to-face. At least I’m telling you
in this text I can’t live with myself a minute longer without your
knowing about this. The truth is, when you’re not around, I’ve been
sharing your wife, day and night. Probably much more than you. I
haven’t been getting it at home recently. I know that’s no excuse. The
temptation was just too great. I can’t live with the guilt & hope
you’ll accept my sincere apology and forgive me.

Please suggest a fee for usage and I’ll pay you.

Richard

NEIGHBOR’S RESPONSE:

George, feeling enraged and betrayed, grabbed his gun, went next door,
and shot Richard dead. He returned home, shot his wife, poured himself
a stiff drink and sat down on the sofa. George then looked at his
phone and discovered a second text message from Richard.

SECOND TEXT MESSAGE:

Hi, George. Richard here again. Sorry about the typo on my last text.
I assume you figured it out and noticed that the darned Spell-Check
had changed “wi-fi” to “wife.” Technology, huh? It’ll be the death of
us all

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I called my wife at work and asked, "Do you ever get a shooting pain across your body, like someone’s got a voodoo doll of you and they’re stabbing it?”

Sounding concerned, she said, “No.”

I responded, “How about now?”

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Statistics say that 1 out of 3 people in a relationship is unfaithful.

.

.

.

I just need to work out if that’s my wife or my girlfriend

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Even during sexual congress!

Dumping a cold drink on his terminalia works almost as well.

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Now the truth behind the Beatles breakup, can be told.

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