Amirite?
But youâd still ride in your current vehicle, right? Your wife may have a vested interest in the answerâŚ
While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant, and resumed their trip. When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table, and she didnât miss them until they had been driving for about forty minutes. By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turnaround, in order to return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses.
All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grumpy old man. He fussed and complained, and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive. The more he chided her, the more agitated he became. He just wouldnât let up for a single minute.
To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant.
As the woman got out of the car, and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled to her, "While youâre in there, you might as well get my hat and the credit card.â
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothesâŚ
âŚI stood there shocked as I watched it all unfold
I switched all the labels on my wifeâs spices.
Iâm not in trouble yet, but the thyme is cumin.
I said to my wife âWhen I die,â Iâd like to die having sex"
She replied "At least we know itâll be quickâ
There once was a man and a woman who had been married for more than 60 years. They talked about everything. They kept no secrets from each other⌠except that the old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she cautioned her husband never to open it or ask her about it.
For all these years he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would never recover.
In trying to sort out their affairs the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wifeâs bedside. She agreed it was time that he should know what was in the box.
When he opened it he found 2 beautifully crocheted doilies and a stack of money totaling over $25,000. He asked her about the unusual contents.
âWhen we were married,â she said, " my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doily."
The little old man was so moved, he had to fight back tears. Only two precious doilies were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with joy and happiness.
âSweetheart,â he said⌠âthat explains the doilies, but what about all this money? Where did it all come from?â
Oh," she said, âdoilies of this caliber will bring $20 - 25 apiece.â
You bet your ass I swiped that!
Wish I had g-gma like that.
A married couple was watching volleyball game at a beach when the wife spotted a couple in the bleachers. They were being very affectionate. The girl was running her hands all over the boyfriend and nibbling on his ear. He had his hands on her chest.
Looking at them, the wife said to her husband âI donât know whether to watch them or the game.â
Husband said, âBetter watch them! You already know how to play volleyball.â
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