Thank LotusBud, I am so looking forward to sharing her work. Nothing you can do but offer your kind words.
THanks old friend. I appreciate it very much. I will ask if there’s something you can help with
Hang in there. And anytime you feel undone, know that we are all here to listen.
Thanks, today is better, getting housework done, dealt w funeral home and got that settled – OK — check out here if you don’t want to consider this
The cremation is 2400$, why the hell would people have casket funerals with an internment at a cemetery when you can just go with a memorial service of your choosing and a cremation where you can spread someone’s ashes in places of comfort to them. ie, I want to spread ashes along the Lake Michigan shore so her dad can go “visit” her but you can’t do that if you’re in the ground in NJ or wherever. This whole thing is bringing some clarity to these costs.
Definitely cremation is the better choice, and scattering the ashes is a way for the spirit of the person to be part of the natural world, imo, and in a way thus more part of the world in which the living are still functioning.
Both of my parents and in-laws will be cremated and placed in a niche, no scattering. MrsWabbit wants to be scattered SOME in the Mediterranean, so I guess I would have to go there to keep visiting with her. $2400 sounds about what we paid for the MIL.
One word… once the details are sorted out and the cremation/internment is done and there’s no more “to do” around this sad event, there may likely be another tough round of sadness. Expect it, embrace it, above all do not beat yourself up for it because grief comes in waves, and for a spouse can be a couple years long, and that’s just the “big” grief. BDays, holidays, anniversaries of other events, just let it be what it will be and don’t fight it.
My Aunt just passed on, she was cremated, when my Uncle goes, they will be scattered together at their favorite beach in Mexico and at their cabin on lake Cushman.
We’re not allowed to spread ashes.
That’s generally true.
You mean in Canada?
Yeah, AFAIK it’s illegal.
I don’t want to hijack the topic but the thing about ashes is, you can pretty much scatter them wherever you want, legally or not. It’s not legal in some publicly owned places in the US, but people do it under the radar anyway. So far in my family everyone in my generation, nearly all of the previous one, and two of my five grandparents chose this. One of my brothers went into the headwaters of a river in Missouri and one went on a steep hillside adjoining an interstate highway. In neither case did anyone alert the cops that it was being done, or had been done. My own plans are similarly illegal.
Orders are to scatter mine upon the misty headwaters of the Lenapehanna.
I’m so sorry WK, I know we never talked much, but that kind of event always overcomes that. Just stay strong in there, it’s never good to be the one that stays behind, but life is that way.
One can never find the right words to say in moments like this.
Thanks rancidmilko. Started moving back into the world today seeing people, talking face to face, cleaning and such
Witchy, I hope you can sleep tonight and rest your weary heart a little. Thinking of you.
There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love.
All I can say is I am so sorry you have lost your love.
Very sorry about your loss. I read of it just before I left home today and I kept thinking about it all day.
Celebrate her life and your memories of her.